apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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