can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
