Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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