I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
