you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
