and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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