Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
