Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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