Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment