Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
