I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
