Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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