I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize