I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
