I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
