You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As shirtless as possible
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
