Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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