if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
