It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
