Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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