During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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