we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Small penises have feelings too.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
