the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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