K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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