His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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