Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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