I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
