Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
