This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
