i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
babies were throwing up all over the place
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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