You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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