oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
