My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
