I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize