I just pynch a tree in the face
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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