I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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