I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
