Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
