Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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