Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
