Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
