why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
