he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
