In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
