OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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