During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
