there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
