I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
