ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
