Whod you bang
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
