He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
