you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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