Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
