Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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