who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
