I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
