I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
